


Door

by Allo_Long



Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types, Super Dangan Ronpa 2
Genre: Angst, Angst and Tragedy, Gen, Heavy Angst, Hurt No Comfort, Im tired, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Mioda Ibuki and Tanaka Gundham Are Siblings, POV Tanaka Gundham, Self-Harm, Suicide Attempt, and im supposed to have an outlet my dad says, drawings doesnt help, god damn it, i was writing a cute roulette fic before this, idk - Freeform, its either this or playing with a knife at night idk, just close, not really - Freeform, sorta - Freeform, vent - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-21
Updated: 2020-10-21
Packaged: 2021-03-09 02:02:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,031
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27136334
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Allo_Long/pseuds/Allo_Long
Summary: Um, im like not good rn so sorry for not doing the bottom shinsou thingi don't really have an outlet and typing feels good ig so I just wanna tap angrily.so yeah gundham. idk if I kin him or if I just really like him,,,COMPLETE
Relationships: Komaeda Nagito & Tanaka Gundham, Komaeda Nagito/Tanaka Gundham, Mioda Ibuki & Tanaka Gundham
Comments: 1
Kudos: 37





	Door

**Author's Note:**

> when you cant type gundham's way of speaking rn so he just,,, isn't gundham rn

It stung.

A lot.

~~Well, obviously, _sherlock_.~~

He sighed as he laid the pocket knife on his nightstand. It made him feel guilty.

To who?

His companions? His mom? His Dark Devas?

Why? This wasn't for them.

It was for him.

Why does it make him feel so guilty? He doesn't want to feel guilty.

Why?

"Fuck..." He wipes his hand through his hair. It wasn't in its usual style; Ibuki had basically petted him like he was a dog. It had felt nice, but now all the memory does is fill him with grief.

How would Ibuki feel? If he died?

She wasn't extremely close to him, was she?

No.

She was.

And she probably wouldn't feel the best, knowing he died by his own hands.

Blood trickled down his hand, leaving a small, crimson droplet on his wood floors.

He should get a napkin.

He walked to where the kitchen was, quietly, with perfected practice.

Why? Why would he practice such a thing?

~~He knows why.~~

Turning the corner to the kitchen, he hears a small shuffling of supplies. Someone must've been making a late-night snack. Something of that sort.

Eating at night.

It was a foreign concept to the breeder.

"Gundham?"

Ah, he was spacing out again. He's been doing that recently.

Gundham.

Gundham Tanaka.

_His name sounded foreign too._

"Nagito." his mumble was hardly audible, only just above a whisper as he guided himself to the kitchen counter.

"Um, what are you doing up so late? Ultimates such as you should get a proper amount of sleep so then they can shine their brightest the next day... N-Not to say you wouldn't be exceptional otherwise!"

"I need a wet napkin."

"Huh? Oh, ok, sorry I jumped to conclusions, hehe..." The nervous laughter makes Gundham's heartbeat go just a bit faster.

"Mm. It's ok." "...You're usually more eccentric than this, Gundham. Are you ok?"

~~Nagito was probably beating himself up over asking a question.~~

"I'm fine."

"Um, are you sure? You're hardly respondin-"

"I said I'm fine. Can you hand me a napkin?"

Gundham can tell how hesitant Nagito is before grabbing the napkin. He rips it off the roll before holding it out to Gundham.

Gundham's left.

_His scarred hand._

_Wrist._

_Arm._

~~_Would grabbing over with his right be too obvious?_ ~~

"Are you ok?"

"...yes. I don't need it anymore."

"B-But you just asked for-"

"I know and now I don't need it. Goodnight Nagito."

He takes great strides to get out, to leave, to go back to his room and drown in his own pity, to stain his sheets in his own shame.

Anything but stay here and let someone see his stupidity.

Anything but let _Nagito_ see his stupidity.

_Anything but-_

"What's that on your arm?"

~~He never should have gone to the kitchen.~~

~~He's so pathetic.~~

"Gundham-"

"I'm going. Goodnight."

"Wha- NO, wait, listen! Gundham, what's wrong with your ar-"

He doesn't have time to hear the end of that sentence as he sprints down the hallway.

~~Great going, running away from someone whose only concerned about your wellbeing.~~

~~Shut up, shut up, _shut UP-_~~

Running, he can hear Nagito behind him. Both make an effort to stay quiet; maybe Nagito is trying to look out for the others and their sleep.

He stutters to a stop in front of his cottage, swinging the door open before slamming it just in time to hit the lucky student in the face. He locks it harshly, breathing heavily.

"O-ow..." _Now he had hurt Nagito, perfect._

There is a beat of silence as the lucky student stood outside his door. Gundham slides down it, gripping his hair tightly. His left arm is stained in red as the pressure causes red beads to lift from the cuts. He damns the gods as his eyes burn with the want to cry.

He just wants to disappear.

Why is his existence so pathetic?

"Gundham? Do you want to talk?"

"No. What is there to even talk about?" It feels like his throat is full of bile.

"I mean, I personally want to talk about your... yeah. If you want, though, we don't have to. I just don't you to be alone."

His arm feels dislodged from his shoulder. Blood loss? Most likely. He went all out tonight. He doesn't even know why; nothing bad had happened today, he was just...

What was he? Sad? Depressed?

Those words didn't fit.

Nothing did.

"I'll talk, Nagito."

"Oh, great! Um, what's your favorite animal? Mine's dogs, although that is generic." Gundham could imagine the nervous smile that was on the boy's face.

~~He wished it wasn't so nervous.~~

"You mean hellhounds."

"Um, yeah."

"I do not have a favorite, for all the creatures of this earth are unique in their own sense."

"T-That's cool. Do you have a favorite food, maybe? I don't really know what to talk about."

"Those orange melons that bear the face of the devil."

"...Um, I'm sorry, can you explain it in simpler terms? I am just a mere mortal after all."

"Pumpkin."

"Oh, cute! I like bagels, they're good."

More silence. This was a waste of time. 

He stands up slowly, wiping his bloodied arm on his pants. He'll wash them tomorrow.

"I'm going to sleep Nagito."

"Oh, um, ok. Tomorrow, can we, like, talk? About, you know?"

"...we'll see. Night."

"Um, ok... bye."

It took a few seconds before Gundham heard steps walking away from his door.

He released a labored breath before collapsing on his bed. He feels as if the weight of the world has fallen on him.

What if Nagito tells someone?

What if it's Ibuki?

What will they do?

What _can_ they do?

Nothing.

They can't do anything.

Not when he's the one with the knife on his nightstand.

He reaches for the pocket knife with hesitance.

And pulls back.

He's tired.

Bleeding.

And has to take care of his dark devas in the morning. He can't leave them.

He can't leave Ibuki.

Or Nagito.

Not yet.

He should leave something for them instead of just leaving without a word. That's the best thing to do.

He falls asleep, huddled over himself.

**Author's Note:**

> this was written badly. sorry.


End file.
